Why?

Why do I have to be strong? Can’t I be weak? Can’t I be human for one fucking moment? Why can’t I cry without feeling like I am letting myself down? Don’t I get to feel what I am feeling without having to constantly worry what every fucking person is going to think about it?

Why do I have to show you a face I am not even sure I have? Hiding behind a mask for the sake of peace, sewing my mouth shut so that I am more likable. Choking on my inner truths so I am more appealing.

Why do I have to try so hard to be something I am not? Why do I have to put myself on the back burner so everyone else is happy. When do I matter? Is there such a thing as unconditional anymore?

Do we ever grow up? Do we ever grow past this? Is there ever a point in our lives when we are above the hurt and the grief of loss?